25 January 2017

Feeling Very Unmotivated at Work and Thinking of Quitting

After one week plus of reservist, when I went back to work, I feel so unmotivated, every little thing seems to trigger my urge to throw letter, but every time many things are holding me back, first thing that comes to my mind is my family, my cute little baby girl, my wife, what will happen if I throw letter, or what if I can't find a job, or what will my boss think of me after he placed so much trust in me and etc, it's like my mind is hosting a race of its own, with endless cars speeding round and round, makes me feel so giddy.

Maybe my recent in-camp training was too long of a holiday, I feel like just lying on bed all day and do nothing, or bring wife and baby and get the hell out of this country, the thought of going to work, doing the same shit that never seem to improve, see the same idiots who never fail to make me hate my job more, the miserably small table which is already so freaking small but I still have to squeeze in more crap, the freaking miserable room which is already so cramped and they still got to pack in more people more desks more chairs more shit load of crap, colleagues who can't do their work independently and got to bother me with every single little thing that they can freaking google, it's just so demoralizing.

I feel as if this job is draining my life force, sucks all the good energy out of me, leaving nothing but a frustrated person, I leave office worrying about the things that are not done, I reach home still thinking about the same shit, mornings are the worse, going to work is like dragging weights to work.

Negativity aside, if I really throw letter, I have no confidence that I can find a job with the same pay, I've actually sent resumes, got quite a few calls, went for a couple interviews but didn't secure any job. Maybe it's not the job market, maybe I just don't know how to sell myself anymore.

Now I'm thinking of switching industry, maybe work in the service sector, it's crazy though, I have a degree in computing and information systems, everyone will tell me to stick to my current job, why the heck should I switch to another industry unless it pays more.

Or I can try to make things better, think of ways to improve, ask myself how I can make life better for myself in my current job. I've tried a few times but failed, maybe I got to think out of the box. Can start by resting earlier, work out more, since it is just a few days to CNY, I'll plan some serious rest and workouts, I remember working out does make me feel better, or maybe I'm too slack.

Think positive, do positive, work positive, live positive. Yeah.


พีนิค said...

keep calm my friend, i was like you until i threw letter 2 years ago without securing a new job. Not worth it though. Most comforting is at least your wife and kid is with u here in Singapore.
My wife is back in chiangrai and i can only visit her only when i apply for my annual leave. So save up enough money for retirement in thailand when u reach 50 and can leave this country.


hor said...

U should seek spirutual assistance to overcome the troubles that U encountered daily in your work.
It will definitely sooth your heart and mind.

marrythaigirlsingapore said...

Thanks both for the support!

Mohammad said...

Hang in there buddy I work in IT Too and sometimes it just feels like chuck I just want to do something else. Also why dont you try for US green card lottery being born in Singapore makes you eligible,

marrythaigirlsingapore said...

Hi Mohammad,

Thanks, didn't know about the green card thing, will check it out.

Istel said...

Hey there MTGS,

Just want to say that you're in a similar situation as I am a year ago when I left my previous job for my current one.
My wife's a foreigner (PR now) and a homemaker while baby girl's born in 2015 just like yours.
Someone offered me my current job which I took earlier this year. This industry switch came with lots of stress as well as I went from a DC integration role to a security role but this role change gave me almost a raise of 50% per annum. It really helps pay the bills + improving my family's savings.

All I want to say is, fortunes in life could change very fast and you just have to be prepared for it. I only know that you're programmer based on what I glimpsed from your blog but just curious if you've tried looking out of your field? Devops is a rapidly trending industry now together with SIEM. Why not read up on it and I'm pretty sure with your capabilities and skills you'll be able to branch out to a more lucrative field?


marrythaigirlsingapore said...

Hi Istel,

Thanks for sharing. Actually I tendered my resignation, thought of going for a month long holiday to really think about things, but my boss wanted me to stay.

Problem is not the money, but of course more I don't mind haha.

Anyway I am also looking out for opportunities, just see how it goes.