14 July 2013

Bride Questioned Guest for Giving S$100 Ang Bao


"Last weekend I attended a wedding of a not-close friend with my boyfriend and as a gift we gave $100 cash. This was generous considering my financial situation. I just finished university with $40,000 in student loans, and have only found part time (12-18 hrs per week) minimum wage work. I gave as much as I could and attended to show my support.

"Today I received a rude and condescending message from the bride via Facebook messenger:

"'Hi Tanya, how are you? I just want to know is there any reason or dissatisfaction of Mike's and I wedding that both you and Phil gave 50$ each? In terms of the amount we got from you both was very unexpected as a result we were very much short on paying off the reception because just for the cocktail + reception alone the plate per person is 200$ (as per a normal wedding range with open bar is about) and Mike and I both have already paid for everything else including decor, photography, attire etc and didn't expect we had to cover that huge amount for reception as well. As I know you both live together and work, so I did not see any reason for that amount, when it comes to your wedding hopefully you'll know what I mean. I hope for the best as from what we receive is what we will give back. Anyways, good luck on everything." [all sic]'

"It's infuriating that she had the nerve to make assumptions about my finances, and assume that I or my boyfriend had an extra $400 lying around.

"Those $100 were hard-earned and she didn't show an ounce of gratitude for what she did receive. That money didn't grow on a tree.

"If she had a minimum gift requirement, she should have specified it...or asked everyone for income statements before inviting them."

How tragic when wedding is all about the money...

This reminds me that I'm invited to my long time friend's wedding, it's at a really nice hotel, one table costs about S$1500 and that makes S$150 per pax. They invited 35 tables and they would need every single seat to give S$150 ang bao so that they can break-even. Actually, he invited me, my wife and my parents, my wife and mother are both unemployed and my father is at the low income group and as for me, I'm doing okay but I'm trying to save as much as possible for my wife's pregnancy.

My parents are planning to give S$75 each, I'm thinking whether I should top it up and bring the total amount to 600, or at least 588, which looks nicer so my friend won't lose face with the girl's family. 588 - 150 means I have to top up 438... which is a big deal to me. I'm happy for my friend, he finally got married but his wedding is giving me a headache... Sigh. I think it would be okay if he only invited me, I think I can afford S$150 if I go alone, or maybe S$300 max if I go with my wife, but his parents know my parents for a long time as well, so they invited my parents too.


No comments: